In life, sometimes, we feel the need to be a superhero who is part Octopus in efforts to tackle our goals. Often we put on the appearance of wanting to look strong so that we don’t fall down the food chain and be preyed upon because we look weak. We say we don’t care what others think but avoid transparency and vulnerability so that we don’t give people a particular impression. The problem with this is we put the thoughts of others before ourselves and neglect our needs by trying to put a Band-Aid on what needs to be open and aired to heal. The narrative needs to shift, we have to stop holding stuff into the point we explode, and the eruption is so violent that putting back the pieces is exhausting because it feels like a scavenger hunt trying to figure out what piece fell where. The narrative needs to change on what strength looks like if we need time/ if something is not okay, we need to say that or express I’m not okay, and then set our boundaries so that no one crosses until the proper curing of our vessel is done. No, you don’t have to tell people the details; you don’t owe them that. You owe yourself to not half to hold stress and create fracture lines in your infrastructure because you’re holding contents that are causing severe pressure points because you’re not allowing the steam to be released that needs to. You owe yourself not to put your health at risk, trying to “be strong” by masking extreme stress or even continuing to go full speed when your tires are bare, now spark are flying everywhere due to the metal scraping the asphalt, and you set fires.
Let’s address, unpack, and get real. We avoid showing vulnerability because we fear that if someone pokes at our insecurities, we will end up like a declawed animal and not be able to defend ourselves. We will subconsciously believe the hurtful things said are right and allow it to make us feel inferior. Imagine not being ashamed of your truths, imagine someone not being able to make you feel bad for your past or present, imagine someone trying to throw shots at your story and you take those bullets and burst a bubble by becoming a pioneer and advocate by bringing awareness to the issue you’re going thru; this is what it means to make lemonade with lemons. No one can make you feel inferior unless you let them. No one’s opinion can make you feel imprisoned if you take charge of the keys and free yourself from others. I acknowledge we are human and we are prone to get emotionally hurt, the pain stings less when there isn’t shame attached. Let me be clear; there are things in life that we aren’t proud of, I know and get that. We all have a past; the key is to take the proper methods, so when those things come up, they don’t debilitate you.
A great way to practice self-care is turning off communication to the outside world and journaling what’s on your mind—taking time to indulge in a favorite mentally/physically healthy hobby and or treating yourself. Self-Care can be therapy as well.
Dedicate a day as well as a time block to make sure you practice self-care. You will notice a big difference in how you feel overall.